top of page
  • lovedannygold

Facilitating Safe "First Times"

One of the amazing things about having friends who see you, is that they can really help you see yourself. A dear friend reflected back to me that I am an expert in fulfilling "first times" of all varieties. In fact, in all of my years as a kinkster in both life and work - I failed to fully recognize how truly exciting it is for me to help usher someone into a journey of new adventures...

I've been fortunate enough to have many people trust me with their new experiments and explorations. This may be a primary theme in most of my sessions! From complete "virgins" who have never had sex, to seasoned perverts like myself who want to tackle their bucket list.

The medicine and substance aspect of my work brings a lot of firsts too! Many folks who see me have never tried any drugs or psychedelics and want to begin to explore in a safe way with a guide. Others haven't experimented since youth and are looking to reconnect as they wind down later in life.

Don't get me wrong, I also have plenty of debauchery experts who hire me as well - and its always nice to meet one's match! However, there is something so heartwarming and enriching for me to feel trusted enough with First-Times.

Some of my most common (and favorite) firsts to facilitate have been:

  • first time having sex

  • first time with a person with a pussy

  • first time hiring another provider

  • first time strap-on

  • first time being fisted

  • first time trying ketamine

  • first threesome/orgy

The Leo (natural leader) in me loves the position of gentle authority and expertise in these areas of delicious temptation. I love giving folks the permission to explore their "naughty" desires in a way that feels safe, contained, responsible, and mind-expanding.

Often what keeps us from exploring our desires is a fear of shame or guilt. Our cultural structure, in many aspects, is designed to control or dampen peoples natural instinct to play and explore. (But we can save the details of my conspiracy theories for a proper date 😜.) Shame runs deep. And it's typically senseless.

The point is, that this type of shame can illicit guilt when we do follow our hedonistic pleasures. We end up training ourselves to avoid that cycle altogether by trying to stuff down our desires and fit a form of what we are told is "acceptable".

We all know, on some level, this doesn't work. Our hearts, spirits, and creative (and dirty) minds are always looking for room to expand. Even more-so when we live in the restrictive world of social structures and complicated dynamics that we do! We need a break from time to time to be the gnarly perverse animals that we are.

I believe there is an alternative to conforming to these rules - one that still keeps us "acceptable". We can carve protected and contained space out of our normal lives to meet these primal needs. We can give ourselves the permission to indulge, take a step back, be a little piggish for awhile - and take care of our creative spirits.

Investing in your self care can look like taking a day off in a beautiful hotel room with a trusted expert sex pot, taking whatever substances suit your mood, and exploring the most deliciously filthy desires that you've never spoken to anyone before.

The key components to cultivating this self care space are: safety and release of shame.

It is my joy, pleasure, and expertise to show you how. 💜


58 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page