In other words - Learn to eat pussy like a pro!
There are so many tips and methods on how to *properly* pleasure a person with a pussy. You can find countless twitter threads, articles, and blogs with infographics and more, claiming that their method of pleasuring a pussy is *the* way.
The truth is, there is no singular method that works for every body. In fact, the more you try to focus on a specific technique, the more you're likely to disappoint your partner.
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Tip #1 - Tease
If you want to be excellent at eating pussy, please first remember - a pussy is not a dick. While there are many anatomical similarities, they enjoy very different things. A clitoris has many more nerve endings in a concentrated area as compared to a penis!
A pussy does not respond well by being suddenly grabbed or sucked. This is one of the biggest mistakes I see folks make. A pussy needs to blossom. You've gotta give it reasons to.
Gently breathe (please do NOT blow, dear god), let your warm breath touch their skin. Kiss the thighs, use your hands on their body, pay attention to body language. Continue to lure the pussy toward you. When they open up and their body softens and moves toward you, you may proceed.
Tip #2 - Observe.
Stop doing what you THINK feels good, whether you own a pussy or a dick yourself. Each pussy is unique, and each pussy unique mood on different days. There is no cheat code, there is no formula. Just *feel* and listen to the pussy. People with vulvas often respond very clearly with body language. Are they pulling back? Are they tuning out?
Tip #3 - Ask.
This is one of the most important aspects of eating pussy well. CONSENT IS ALWAYS SEXY. Do NOT try anything new without asking. Do not spit, suck, bite, penetrate, etc without asking! “Does this feel good?” “Do you want me to go harder?” “Do you like when I suck?” “Do you like when I use my hands?” “Would my fingers inside of your feel good?” “Would you like me to play with your ass?” “Do you need a break?”
Tip #4 - Bring in the Body.
People with pussies - particularly feminine people with pussies - need a full body experience to orgasm. People with high testosterone often enjoy focus on their genitals.
More often than not when you are pleasuring a pussy, you are pleasuring the whole body. Use your hands, squeeze them, embrace them, touch them all over. Moan. Enjoy.
Cunnilingus should be a whole-body connected experience for you both.
Tip #5 - Less is More.
...Unless they ask for more. To elaborate on number 1, keep in mind that often hammering on a pussy is not effective. It will cause most people to clam up and close off. Pussies are tender and want to be protected. If you go in hard this is a danger signal to the brain!
If they have opened and softened and are pushing into you or verbally asking for more - then go harder as they request. And do NOT push through if they don’t cum. Take a break and slow the tempo and build it back up. It’s not a race.
Tip #6 - Be Consistent.
Stop trying to switch it up and do pussy gymnastics. There is no code. This is intuitive work! Play gently until you feel their body respond deeply. Once you find the rhythm that works, stay consistent.
Again, it’s not a dick. Don’t take the responsiveness as a cue to go harder! Instead recognize what you’re doing is perfect! You may slowly build up intensity but only as their body asks for it - pussies take time! If the rhythm stops building, again, start over.
We aren’t here to cum, we’re here to enjoy the ride.
Tip #7 - Don't Make It About You.
People with pussies are often sensitive to energy. Leave your ego out of it. Hold firm and consistent space. Give them a place to be comfortable knowing that they don’t have to perform for you.
Don’t just say and do the right things! You must shift your focus, bring no fear of disappointment, and just listen to what they need! You must fully embody a safe, expectation-free, and selfless act pleasure for them.
This isn’t about your skills. It’s about their pleasure.
And have fun...
Sex is meant to be pleasurable and fun. Its silly and imperfect at times. It's ok to make mistakes or not get it right. Take the pressure off and enjoy yourself!
Don't forget, as a sex coach and education-focused companion, I am more than pleased to provide private lessons and give constructive feedback. Book me here to explore together!